The Ultimate Adventure Relationship Test

416 words, < 3 minutes

The ultimate adventure relationship test might be an overnight canoe trip.* If you want to determine if you and your partner are a good match, spend a few days with them in a canoe.

All adventures are great, but canoeing with a partner is special for a few reasons.

Collaboration. There is a difference between collaboration and teamwork. Canoeing is an exercise in constant collaboration. In most other areas of our lives, we get things done with teamwork. There is a common goal, but we move independently. In a canoe, our movement directly impacts the movement of our partner. We share control and must communicate and adjust to each other to make progress towards where we want to go.

How does the way they paddle make us feel? Do they paddle too much, too little, too slow, too fast, or too random from our perspective? Do those differences make us smile or make us want to scream? In a canoe, we can’t pretend we are in sync. The feedback is immediate. How we respond to our loss of control and their inability to read our minds tells us something about our graciousness towards our partner.

Proximity. There’s no escaping each other. We are bound together by the boat. We can’t step away or take a break until we reach the shore. Whether that sounds fun or terrifying, that’s probably a good data point.

Time. We can put up with just about anything for a short time. When we spend days within a few feet of each other, that’s when things get interesting. Do we wish the adventure was longer?

Communication. How easy is the conversation? How comfortable is the quiet? When it gets stressful, how does communication change? What’s the ratio of laughs to frustration?

Sharing. How do we divide up roles and responsibilities? Can we try new things? How do we share? We are two people acting as one. How does that make us feel?

Natural Surprises. Adventures are unpredictable and full of surprises. When things change, do we believe the other person is doing their best?

The reason canoeing is such a great relationship test is because it is an immersion in connection and sharing control. The test isn’t as much about our partner as it is about our reaction to our partner. If we go on a multi-day canoe trip together and want to do it again, that’s a pretty good sign we can make it through almost anything.

What do you think?

*Tandem bikepacking and multi-day climbing might be the second and third best adventure relationship tests. Although we encourage the canoe test for any potential life partner, it also works for finding good adventure buddies.